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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Alice Provensen (not really)'s LiveJournal:

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Thursday, November 20th, 2008
8:01 pm
the squeeky sound honey makes when you rub it on your teeth
     looked at a lot of old pictures today.  i want to write songs for those people.
Sunday, October 26th, 2008
3:03 pm
.. . ..
 native persimmons taste like flavor-ice
  maybe they could be harvested to turn into tasty frozen treats

 i got to juggle in the parade!
  puppetry might be the goal for the next one.

   everyone needs to find their puppet personality
Friday, October 24th, 2008
12:43 am
.. * .. ** ... ** ! ** .... *** !
  i have heard prop planes flying over the past few days.
   when i was young i heard them a lot more frequently.
    i wonder where it is they are going exactly.

     been painting often.
     working on a panel three by three.
     it is of a spidery planet with a human head grafted on
     drifting through a twilight of some kind or other.

this saturday is grandma lola's 90th birthday party.
it is also the day of a great parade of fire up in the city.
october is full of more mysterious events than one can shake
anything at.

  i got in two car accidents this week.... within 20 hours of each other.
  glad to be alive.
  forgotten how to talk to alive people about being alive.
  i ran out of physical journals.
  have to rely on the ekind i guess.

                                                           christopher  number 4
Sunday, November 6th, 2005
6:36 pm
i'm feeling a wash of acceptance. both for and by the world. still havent found my nich, but i'm hopeful that it exists.
Saturday, October 22nd, 2005
2:12 pm
mmmmm... tck tck.... wwwrrrrrrriitttl. wwwwwwrrrrriiitttl.

Thursday, July 21st, 2005
1:04 pm
i shall soon be moving into the secret annex of amar, sprite, and brooke (well, i've slept there already, but i don't really have anything over there yet). another interesting life chapter. full of possibility.
now i must figure out what to do for work. a question i am not looking forward to answering, but one which i don't think i can avoid. where are the scholarships for dedicated non college artists? buh.
Monday, July 18th, 2005
12:19 am
on living and loving
a long time ago i had a realization about being myself.
i thought: "i don't care what others think. i want to be me."
and me i was.
but i longed to love and be loved.
love happened occasionally, but never long enough to satisfy.
now i question: "who am i?"
"why can i not find love?"
"is it me that is not loveable?"
"is it me who does not see the opportunities for love?"
"am i too timid?"
"am i too ____?"
desire for a soulmate has made me question my very being, for i care far more about finding this love than i do about any specific quality of myself... is this wrong? probably... but i cannot help it.
maybe i must learn to let go of my ideals of love.
maybe i need to find myself before i can find my other.
maybe there are no others.
maybe life wouldnt be so bad by myself.
i have no answers.
but i have long neglected the self that does not depend upon others for its happiness.
Monday, July 4th, 2005
11:53 am
indie pen dance day
i might just get a six of om, throw it in my bag, and wander the town watching the patriots....
Tuesday, June 28th, 2005
2:11 am
die lemma
ive recently been drawing shapes in the suds at work. i'm wondering if....
maybe dishwashing isn't the best line of work for me...
does selling art sound at all realistic? i know nothing of the art of selling art...
Monday, June 20th, 2005
2:54 pm
to all my fry ends (yew gno hoo yew r)
things are quite busy now.
i appologize for not letting anyone know what time it is.
i have recently been inspired to put all of my time into art...
i would like to try this for a while.
i am an inward bluejay looking for a nest in another dimension.
i hope to travel with many of you on my journey.
norman is a good place.
so can be the rest of the world.
may love and living be well known to us all.
Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
2:42 am
where am i?
i am altogether lost.
Monday, August 30th, 2004
9:13 pm
the inspiring weight of a world in all degrees.
my fingers have been busy workers.
our fruit is happiness fruit.
hands have been held. a particular feeling in the back of the neck creeping downward.
warm sweats.
my eyes burn less.
my mind ceases to worry.
i think i know now why people like me... and why they dislike me
me then
me now
they are compatible people
them then
them now
i love all the ones that still like to talk to me
even some that don't
the world is large and intriguing
my block still holds undiscovered interests
i xavor the xound of xilence
musical sounds i relate to more intimately
know thy ways
no disgrace
i am with the canada geese
i understand my role as a frog on their lilly pad
i am a frog on many lilly pads
new found eyes are flying away for a while
i eagerly will await their return
nothing can top the feeling of a well spent day
oh what a happy day
side by side
Tuesday, April 13th, 2004
7:14 pm
thin eye for the fat guy
today my sister bought me some pants. we went to the mall for these pants. they were all made for fat people. i've decided that i feel ok saying the word fat because people are always calling me skinny and trying to get away with it. that is my sole bitch for today.
i have landed in oklahoma city with little or no scratches.
life is good.
i feel a stronger sense of identity these days. maybe i'm through spiritually floating. but never finished searching.
ive decided to let love find me. i have friends to fill the voids of loneliness, and the shower to take care of my other needs.
i have one foot in the door.
the feathered fortune-teller
Tuesday, February 24th, 2004
12:34 pm
here he comes. you'd better watch your step.
so now i've finished our album... and my birthday has come and gone... and i really have no excuse not to get a job except that i never want to work a crap job in norman again.. hmmmm.. there are possibilities of a temporary living situation in oklahoma city on the white horizon.. i wouldnt mind having a job in the city because i have no desire whatsoever to live there for one moment longer than i have to. that and it would be a better place to get gigs. if i could make a little extra oregon money by playing shows i would feel good about it... well, now ive at least commited these these thoughts to cyber space.. so i'm more likely to go with them. what would really be ideal is for a few thousand dollars to fall into my lap (though since that almost literally happened about a year ago i might have used up that kind of luck) so that i can look for a job on the west coast instead. i hate these temporary but still semi-permanent things... they'll nickle and dime your life away.. sigh.. well, at least i'm having a good time anyway. Not as good a time as i COULD be having, i suppose, but nice. i saw some footprints on the sidewalk today (they were made of dog shit that somebody had stepped on in the grass a few yards away) and they made me laugh a lot. that peppermint soap that molly gave me for my birthday feels really nice on my face. life is good. not too rushed. full of little piles of interest and topped with friends all across the world. a few wants at this precise moment: a game of go with my excellent friend brendan. a bit of sinus with crouch, waylan, and brendan to go rollerskating with sister to go out to lunch with my dad to convince my mom that she should go to places that she wants to and feels that she can't for dave to find some people to play in his band for thom to move back to norman because i miss his ass for chase to find all of the stability in his environment that he desires.. a calm tent with a view perhaps for cynthia to survive the imminent arrival of her mother for a visit or word from all of my friends to remind me that i'm not really living in my own head. a pint of cream soda in a frozen glass with an inch and a half of creamy head (for you pervs out there, i have at least 2 inches, so don't take that the wrong direction) ok... so maybe more than a few wants, but that is a taste of where i am... actually, what i want more than almost anything is a flying bunkbead that can spirit me off to anyplace and anyone i would like to visit. few things are as comforting as friends and sleep. chase hopes to have a phone soon, so maybe i will be call-able before too long. until i hear your voices, good night and sleep as well as you live!
Tuesday, January 13th, 2004
1:44 pm
3rd morning in portland (the name of which i hear {though perhaps in jest} is NOT because of the rivers running through it but because the 2 people who named it were from portland maine and boston massoftwoshits and they flipped a coin to decide which of their home towns to name it after)
played puzzle pirates for the first time. it's pretty neat. arr!
ive enjoyed my trip a lot thus far. the highlights i think were san diego (i love the dunes on the way!) and the berkeley bowl. portland is under snow or i might consider it to be the highlight. it's a beautiful town but slush does a lot to cripple my oppinion of something... take friends for example... would i want to hang out with someone covered in snow? hell no!! well, maybe john. but then, john could be covered in just about anything so you have to be prepared for that..
urp. not looking forward to the drive back.. though stopping through john's will be fun. i still havent heard the finished ***.
looking forward to finishing the 3rd ghost of monkshood!
i hope that chase is ready. and speaking of chase, he would have loved the bookstore that i went to yesterday. everyone would love this bookstore.
pacific northwest.
the question and answer of where to be is so often financial. buh.
Saturday, January 10th, 2004
8:11 pm
i am now in the land of ports
Wednesday, December 10th, 2003
4:58 pm
post post office
every week when i check my email i also go to the post office and drop off whatever letters i am sending out that week. when i send envelopes full of my words to people i like to make sure that they are handed to a person.. i've never fully trusted mailboxes or mail slots of any kind... so naturally there is a lady who works at the post office who points out to me everytime i hand her my mail that i don't have to stand in line.. she even gives me the same pamphlet and roll of air mail stickers every time (i send letters across the seas) ...... i dont know what to say to this. the first few times i told her that i didnt mind standing in line.. i even told her that i enjoy it (in a weird sort of way this is true.) but she keeps giving me "the memo" ... and i know she recognizes me because she always asks me if i got the information last time.. i say... "yeah, i got it" and she hands me more.... sigh.. maybe it bothers her to have to deal with people that she shouldnt have to.. i can respect that.. but i wish that she would respect my mail slot neurosis..... actually, i bet that if i went into my mail slot thingie right there in front of her she might finally stop badgering me about it.. i guess that none of this is really important, but it's funny to me in a vaguely-frustrating-yet-somewhat-personal-and-rememberable-so-it's-actually-quite-alright sort of way.
oh! and i managed to hold iceland and nothing else to a stalemate in a game of risk (though if chase had been luckier and more patient he could have easily taken me in a few more turns)
and i'm hungry
and i'm slightyly hungover
and i'm wearing optimism like a clip-on tie.
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003
3:18 pm
the once a week tweek.
i discovered the best thing to say in place of "popeycock!" when someone says something that you think is quite ridiculous, just say "pure corn oil!" in a crotchety "old man voice" .. maybe even with a slight britishness to it. my stomach hurts a lot. does anyone know of long term term effects to the stomach from drinking too many carbonated beverages? sometimes, after drinking a coke or mt. dew, it feels as though my stomach is deing disolved.. i guess that this usually happens on a n empty stomach.. so maybe that's it.. ive decided that i like the norman public library.. it's a swell place.
Saturday, November 29th, 2003
2:15 pm
she flies with her own wings
wow, i never manage to take up the whole hour doing email stuff at the library, but i havent checked in about two weeks (a week and a half?.. ya know, i can't even remember) and ive tried to be thourough.
gosh. what's up?
living with chase in the electric bungalow for the week. caught the house cold, of course... i think that the apartment is very deserving of the name oz. only the wizard in the case must be chemical. i don't know. maybe this was always the case. inspired by a list from chase, i am attempting to write down every book i have ever written. at first i thought that i would be saddened by how few it would be, but my list keeps getting longer and longer and shows no intention of stopping soon.. but the memory does not serve. i just thought of one: redwall. i had forgotten about that book.. and i started mossflower but never finished. i imagine that i would like it though.. hmmmm. the most recent book would be "the giving tree: by shel silverstein, is that how you spell it?.. ive always pronounced it "steen" but that looks like "stine" to me.. i'm always getting some little detail wrong. oh well. anyway, i hadnt read it before last night. i was amazed out how much it made me feel. golly. sometimes i wonder why i bother reading novels. why not just read a dozen or so well written short stories instead.. but i guess that i like long stories.
crap! ive only got 4 minutes left...... anything else to say? oh yeah. Chase and i finished the second ghost of monks-hood album, entitled "she flies with her own wings" there are a few copies at guestroom records for 3 bucks (i don't really want to charge but i just spent 40 bucks on the damned inserts {sorry brendan, i know that i should be saving for the house, but i think that i can make it back selling 80 albums.. hopefully.}) anyway, it's worth a listen, i think.
shit, one minute. bye bye
Wednesday, November 12th, 2003
9:28 am
up, up , and ... erm... up!
i am now awake at the most sleepy time ever invented. that being between the hours of about 9 and 11:45 a.m. i'm attempting to stay up all day so that i can go to sleep early tonight and get back on a day schedule. i wouldn't care too much either way but it's not considerate to record music late into the night. then again, dave is the closest person and the day is when he'll be sleeping.. then again, he's not likely to call the cops about noise.. so maybe it's not so much that i want to be considerate.. i just don't want to be fined and shut up. sheesh. i remember when staying up for 24 hoours was a piece of cake. ive never really stayed up that long.. the longest, in fact, would probably be about 50 hours. i know many people who claim to have stayed up 60+ hours.. i wonder what that is like.......
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